#ultimate skills

[mangocoal]

Random thing I edited together because I was bored.

[ironinkpen]

there's something so poetic about kipperlilly copperkettle—who hated one of her classmates for daring to be better than her and having a dead dad, who refused to improve herself and instead chose to be bitter and entitled, who was so obsessed with being Special and Important like she felt she deserved that she willingly worked with a rage god, betrayed her party, and killed her friend—getting killed by fucking. Hold Person. her fancy optimal build IMMEDIATELY folding in the face of riz's cleverness and experience and applied knowledge. she spends years fixated solely on racking up EXP and getting the Best Abilities, and then when she dies, she's killed not in glorious combat but by a clever, practical application of a 2nd level spell that she NEVER would have ever thought of using because she has no creativity or adventurers' spirit, cast by the same classmate she always hated with a watch his dead dad gave him.

[hailsatanacab]

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

[squids-and-waffles7]

love at first birb

[marf244]

I love seeing how many different headcanons people have for Desmond but in my mind he's just average. He's just a guy. No special traits before the animus, just a guy who knows weird shit. He climbs better than your average person but not impresively so. He knows some wilderness survival techniques but nothing that would raise eyebrows. He's decent at lying but there are better liars. He can pick locks but who doesn't have a friend who does that. He has an impressive reaction time but it could just be from practicing those fancy drink mixing moves. He had skills and quirks from the Farm sure, but I imagine he deliberately surpressed most of them. He retains some odd habits (and probably anxiety) but again, nothing special. He's just a guy. And I love him for that <3

[tired-shadow1]

I had forgotten that in canon Ace literally doesn't practice horseback riding unless his fear of failure compels him too because he is too afraid to get on a horse when not in a race, and just straight up wins the races because he is too afraid of failing to win the races and being revealed to be a "fraud", and he just did that over and over until he became the Ultimate Jockey

[33-16]

okay so max manifests charles victory (indirectly as always because homotron 3000 is trying to be discrete) so we will get charles victory because max is the ultimate lecfosi. you think you are the biggest charles leclerc fan, max has already signed and sealed that title for the rest of his existence.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

“Poorly-Drawn” Poorly-Drawn-MDZS by my friend who has no context for what MDZS is, but has read every comic of mine in support.

[fjordfolk]

i will say this: the signal i see being most ignored in small dogs thats heeded in large dogs is "don't touch me."

[echo-coyote]

She likes to be tall

[mars-wuz-herez]

they have a point tho

and it’s the cold truth

[juleteon]

Nightmares of broken chains

[mangocoal]

I made another silly edit. I dunno what compelled me to make it but here it is regardless.

[polarisdelphi]

To complement my Integra's drawing, I was finally able to draw Alucard in this lifetime.

I never managed to get a single decent drawing of him. Something was always off.

But now, here we are: psycho smile, glowing eye, Carmen Sandiego hat, round reflective glasses, flowy badass walking pose, halfway-into-cryptid-Alucard hair... I'm happy with the result :)

halfway into cryptid Alucard is always one of my favourites

I'll be uploading this one as a sticker on my Redbubble shop! I recently added Integra's, so Alucard will follow! You can find my shop here: link to Redbubble shop

(if the previous link doesn't work, try this one, I changed the name recently: new Redbubble link)

[novankenn]

... is greater than the sword!

On the roof of Beacon Jaune was once again flat on his back.

Jaune: I can't do this!

Pyrrha: Come on Jaune, you're getting better and better, just keep at it.

Jaune: Just admit it Pyr... I'm not good enough. I'm just wasting your time.

Pyrrha: Stop it Jaune! You are not wasting my time. You never have. I want to help you. I chose to help you.

Jaune: I'm an anchor around you, Nora and Ren's necks. You'd be better off with out me.

Pyrrha: Jaune, please stop talking like that. We just need to find your strength.

Jaune: Strength?

Pyrrha: Maybe Crocea Mors is not the weapon you should be using? There are plenty of training weapons, we can take time and let you try them all... see if something sticks.

Jaune: Something that suits me? Maybe...

Pyrrha: Jaune?

Jaune: I just had an idea. Can we call it for tonight? I need to work out a couple things.

Pyrrha: I guess. Are you sure?

Jaune: Please?

/==/

Class: ROARING IN LAUGHTER!!!

Pyrrha: Jaune what are you doing?

Cardin: (laughing) What you going to do, Arc? Make me an omelet?

Professor Goodwitch: This is HIGHLY unorthodox, Mr Arc.

Jaune said nothing as he just stood there waiting for the spar to start. Shaking her head Glynda gave the signal.

Cardin: Prepare to eat dirt...

CLANG!

KLUNK!

DONG!

DING!

THUD!

Class: CHOKING ON LAUGHTER AND GASPING IN SURPRISE!!!

Professor Goodwitch: Ah... winner Jaune Arc?

Cardin: Mommy... I don't want to go to school today!

Jaune shot Pyrrha a smile as he flipped a cast iron frying pan into the air and caught it without looking by the handle.

Pyrrha: Jaune?

Jaune: You said use what I'm good with... I'm good with a frying pan, in more ways than one.

Pyrrha: Yes, I did say that, but...

Jaune: How about in celebration of my victory, I make you some chocolate crepes?

Pyrrha: YES!

[lxghtofthephoenixx]

I follow intersex tags on my main, as a cisintersex person. This way, I get good ol' intersex content on my dash often, and what do I see? Some clown placing 'transintersex' people among horrendously intersexist things. These people actually believe someone who wants or desires to be intersex/more intersex is in the same boat as fucking TERFs who call us "people with DSD" and at this point I fear the person who made that post may be too far gone if they genuinely believe that.

There is a point where, in your brigade to call everything intersexist, that you need to actually analyze things that actively hurt ALL intersex people. 'DSD', which stands for 'disordered sex development' for those who are unaware, actually harms the community. Forced binaries, such as 'amab/afab genitals', 'TME/TMA', painting 'cis/trans' as clear cut opposites where you can only be one, etc actually harms us. Genital surgeries, forced HRT, the fact that DOCTORS still see us as things to be fixed... THAT harms us. The vehement erasure of intersex people at pride events harms us.

For somebody to sit behind a screen and even acknowledge the horrors intersex people face, only to throw transintersex people under the bus while they're at it, is upsetting to me. I see all this hatred, cries of intersexism, towards transintersex individuals and cannot for the life of me see the point or reason behind it. It's possible that it's just cashing in on the current transID hate fad, which has poisoned so many supposed safe spaces... but it's still so upsetting to watch multiple communities I'm a part of waste their time on transID folk.

Whether or not you actually believe transID is all fetishization and that, in turn, means bigotry, one cannot waste their time on ultimately harmless shit when coercive sex reassignment (among other actual issues) is still a fucking thing. There are bigger issues at hand here, and the nonissue that transID people pose is not fucking important and never will be, because again it's a NONISSUE.